random-ness

don't know why
but i have been thinking about the past quite a lot lately
maybe it's because someone who i blocked, deleted has come back to haunt me again
i really really hate this person
at one point
he made me stop believing in love
he made me think that there won't be anyone who will love me
he even made me started to hate myself

Sometimes....
i just wish i have never met this person
if i haven't
maybe everything will be different
maybe Jeff will still be here

but then yet,
if i haven't,
maybe i won't be in hk this moment,
wouldn't have what i have right now

I am just asking for too much am i?
i want what i have now,
but want to rewrite the past...
if the past has changed,
I probably didn't start working at Fairchild
then i would never have met Baby, Honey and ah Goh

If it was like that,
then i probably will never know someone on this planet actually loves me
who will do anything to help me
and probably will even risk his life to save me...