三年內第二次夢到Jeff

尋晚唔舒服加上返工累
應該好眼訓
不過唔知點解關燈開歌聽之後點都係訓唔著.....
係張床左"look"右"look"都訓唔到
結果訓得著都訓得唔好

一起身就諗返起尋晚既夢
一個好奇怪都有啲messy既夢

係夢入面我係到做緊野
(地點好似係一個我幫公司搵既party/event)
咁我班同事都係我宜家個班
但唔同既係
我係夢入面見到Jeff
一個大個既佢
感覺就好似如果佢有一直長大
一個23歲的Jeff
我見佢玩得好開心, 飲到好醉
但係笑得好開心

係夢入面既我好清楚Jeff個晚就會發生車禍
但係我咩都冇做
又或者應該話, 我唔知可以做啲咩
係夢入面既我正煩惱緊我點做好既時候
我就突然醒左
本來我可以訓多大半個鐘
但係我有一個好奇怪既感覺

好似, 如果我再訓返
我就會又一次入返個夢
感覺就好似我會回到夢中既世界
咁我又會再一次經歷Jeff撞車&離開
但我覺得如果我唔再一次入夢
咁佢有可能唔會死
加上我唔需要再一次去經歷佢既死亡
所以最後我都係決定起身去食一個早上五點既Mc記早餐

三年後既今日
我知道我唔應該再去諗 "如果當日我叫佢唔好出去, 咁佢今日仲係到...."
宜我都唔會再咁諗
因為我明白我諗唔諗都對宜家冇任何改變
只會對我自己有壞處
(各位擔心左我好耐既朋友,
你可以放心啦, 我無事啦. 我大個女架啦.)

但係尋晚既夢只係make me realized
I was very lucky to have him in my life
and..

To Jeff:
You are welcome in my dreams anytime
no matter if that means bring tears to me for a week
at least I feel like you are still growing up with me...
and you are still here for me always like you once were
Stupidly, there is a part of me which feels like you are still alive halfway across the world...
i know... i am just lying to myself...
but at least..
i can dream about that...

Anyways.. thanks for visiting last night.
Come more often.. please..